Post by Gerard Mendes on Nov 2, 2015 14:38:25 GMT -5
>>
>> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
>> to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white
>> is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her
>> life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So
>> why is the groom wearing black?"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as
>> she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she
>> prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please
>> don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she
>> tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing
>> her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running
>> again! in. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord,
>> please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The
>> first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
>> he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
>> The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words
>> on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
>> The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few
>> words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight
>> people to collect all the money!"
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she
>> requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for
>> her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I
>> was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if
>> you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered "Call for backup."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took
>> Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't
>> get a baby sitter."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
>> her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
>> "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a
>> commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>> Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not
>> murder."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
>> including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
>> they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later
>> in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were
>> ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny
>> responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a
>> wife."
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a
>> strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you
>> think about all this Satan stuff?"
>> The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
>> It's probably just your Dad.
>> ~~~~~~~~